“When my brother was in high school they brought back the practice of saying the pledge of allegiance each morning before class. During the pledge, they would show a video of a waving American flag on the tv monitors in each classroom. My brother swiped one of my porno tapes from my room and gave it to his contact in the AV club who edited about 30 seconds of hardcore banging into the middle of the flag video. Later when my mom told me the story about why he was suspended from school, the only complete sentence I could make out through her alternating fits of laughter and fury was “The principal said the entire school is in an uproar.”

Pranks: I pledge allegiance to the…..HOLY SHIT!