“My roommate and I are huge Harry Potter geeks, and she has a rather large poster from the last movie of Severus Snape looking disapproving on the wall across from my bed. The other day I had a round of very loud sex with this guy I’m seeing while she was out of town. He absolutely refused go for round two until I put a piece of construction paper over Snape’s face because he said it made him feel like a little kid caught out of bed after lights-out.”

Rough Love: No Sex Tonight, Mr. Potter