I used to work at a grocery store that also sells movies. I was closing the store one night and there was one customer left in the store. She walked up and couldn’t have been younger than 70. All she bought was 3 “adult” movies, a can of vaseline, and an overly large cucumber…I say “have a good night” and she gives me this wickedly sinister pedo-smile, winks and says “oh you know i will baby…” I then went home and took the longest, hottest shower of my life.