1. Sew the sleeves back on his sweaters.
2. Start a rebuttal campaign against Dan Savage to make “savage” mean “fierce, uncivilized, or rude.” Buy a dictionary. Declare himself successful.
3. Unclench a few muscles, maybe.
4. Finally send Rick Perry that ambiguously flirty email that’s been in his drafts since last June.
5. Pull a series of “Parent Trap”-style pranks to get Church and State back together.
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-wear his new orange sweater vest -appear on SNL
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Here’s 10 things Rick Santorum can do now that he has dropped out of his 2012 campaign. 1. Sew the sleeves back on his...
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“Pull a series of ‘Parent Trap’-style pranks to get Church and State back together” ahahahaha. But really fuck Rick...
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