No need to beat yourself up over the fact that you’re a failure. Instead, here are some excuses you can tell yourself:
2. Quit Drinking: Think back to when you made this decision. It was when you were really shitfaced and had just done something stupid that made you regret drinking that sixth shot. Right? Okay. First of all, if you hadn’t taken that sixth shot, everyone would have called you a pussy. You had to! And consider this: you made that decision to quit drinking when your judgment was impaired. So if you had sex with your best friend’s girlfriend two minutes before, and we know that was a bad decision, what makes you think this sobriety thing was a good choice?
(Source: College Humor)