Make The Flying Shit


Dear Scientists, 

Make the flying shit. It’s time. 

You’ve done a wonderful job making the future as envisioned by so many writers of the past come true. We have phones that talk back to us now and cars that tell us where to go. We have robots that clean our houses and televisions that have a third dimension. We can speak to someone face to face even though they’re on the other side of the world and we can even go to space on a whim. A good many of us walk around with a device in our pocket that contains the accumulated knowledge of five thousand years of civilization. You’ve done an incredible job with all of this. So I think it’s time we make the flying shit. 

I know what you’re thinking, “but what about whole meals that come in pill form?” I’m sure if you put your minds to it, you could invent those, too. But nobody really wants that. We like eating meals. You know what we don’t like doing? Not flying. So let’s make the flying shit. 

And you know what shit I’m talking about. I’m talking about anything with “hover” in it’s name. I know you can make it if you get to work. So go for it. Let’s make the flying shit. 

And, No, planes and helicopters are not the flying shit, so stop pretending like you already invented it. Too complicated. I’m talking about the flying shit any idiot can use. 

Medicine is great. So are computers. But surely we can spare a few scientists to work on the flying shit? Whoever was going to work on making radio better, let’s put them on the flying shit. Or the people working on making robots that look like people. We don’t need that, those only lead to trouble. Flying shit is a much better investment, long term. 

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"And, NO, plans and helicopters do not count as the flying shit, so strop pretending you already invented it. Too complicated."