




Dave: Hey, neighbor, can I ask you something?
Bill: City hall. Rain cloud. Dollar sign.
Dave: Um, yeah. Listen, I really need a friend. My boss says I can't get promoted until I get one and learn something about cooking. Life in politics is not what I imagined.
Bill: Soccer ball. Earth. Ghost!
Dave: Uh...huh.
Bill: I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!
Pause.
Dave: So....you watch any sports or anything?
Bill: Backrub?
Dave: Um, no thanks. I only ask because my TV only gets four channels, and they all speak this non-sense jibberish language. It's so weird.
Bill: Backrub?
Dave: Uh, still no, thanks.
Bill: Tickle!
Dave: Haaaa...very funny. That was not at all awkward.
Bill: We're friends now.
>






My girlfriend hated Transformers 2 because there was "too much" robot fighting.
-Anonymous
My GF of six years dumped me the week of finals, seven days before I graduated college. She said she, "wanted time to be single and trust her own decision making." Six months later, she was engaged, pregnant and enlisted in the army.
-Rich
This August while sleeping on an air mattress on vacation, my girlfriend pissed herself, and because I'm heavier than her, it all came down and pooled around me. I woke up shivering, soaked in my girlfriend's piss.
-Drew, Wayne State

I once bought my (ex)girlfriend flowers for no reason. Immediately after I gave them to her my roommate came home and we started talking about what he was doing for his girlfriend for thier anniversary. With the flowers still in her hand she turned to me and said "Why don't you ever do things like that for me?"
-Will
I was a 19 year old college freshman dating another 19 year old college freshman. We stopped in at a Dunkin' Donuts that he frequented. Upon walking up to the counter, the cashier said, "Oh hi, Chris! Is this your mom?"
-Hillari
My significant other of a year and a half cried hysterically for an hour and swore to never talk to me again because I jokingly said I was more attractive then her.
-Nick
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