105%

Issue One Hundred and Twenty-Five

by 105%-O-Matic September 17, 2009


In color. Actually, two colors: black and white.

In school, I gave 110%. No wonder I failed math.
-Eric Van Der Schlogen
My grandfather winked at me when he told a secret, turns out the secret was that he was having a stroke.
-Will Martin
Most boring super-hero battle ever
Aquaman vs. Storm IN OUTER SPACE.
-Gregory Gorasil
I just had a really nice dinner and a lot of wine at the Space Needle in Seattle. I got so drunk the room felt like it wasn't spinning.
-Evan O'Toole
I wonder how cheerleaders on strike protest.
-The NTC
Are socks like condoms for people with foot fetishes?
-The NTC
You're an alcoholic if...
...you call Ping Pong Balls, "Beer Pong Balls."
-Drey Dailey
Going though airport security is like a really boring obstacle course.
-Patrick Cassels
I get mistaken for other people all the time. Like last week at a bar, a girl mistook me for someone who wasn't going to stare at her tits during our conversation.
-Conor McKeon
People talk about having "mind-blowing" sex. I'd rather have dick-blowing sex.
-Matt Doner
Click here to submit your own 105%.
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